Talk like a pilot!
In honor of Talk Like a Pirate day, (Sept 19th) I thought I’d put up some phrases you can use to sound like a pilot.
Pilot: We’re preflighted and ready to go. We’re ready to bore some holes in the sky.
Instructor: OK Let’s kick the tires and light the fires.
Pilot: Barnstormer 1EE ready for taxi.
Tower: Standby
Pilot:
Tower: Barnstormer 1EE bird activity south of the airport. Cleared for takeoff.
Pilot: Roger that. Cleared for takeoff.
Co-pilot: More right rudder, Scotty!
Pilot: Wilco
ATC: Barnstormer 1EE Traffic at your 2 o’clock . Six miles.
Pilot: We’re looking. 1EE
Pilot: Barnstormer 1EE has the traffic in sight.
ATC: Roger
ATC: Barnstormer 1EE do you have the traffic?
Pilot: Negative. 1EE
Tower: Barnstormer 1EE turn left to 220 caution wake turbulence from the departing regional. I’ve got a Cessna two miles ahead on your right at 2,500, there’s a Piper taking off behind you.
Pilot: Roger
After flying for while in the practice area you return to the field.
Pilot: Barnstormer 1EE over Avila at 2 thousand five hundred with ATIS Delta.
Tower: Barnstormer 1EE state your intentions.
Pilot: Barnstormer 1EE inbound for full stop landing.
Tower: Barnstormer 1EE extend downwind 2 miles for waterfall on final.
Pilot: Say again. 1EE.
Tower: Barnstormer 1EE extend downwind 2 miles for ducks and geese on final.
Pilot: Extending downwind. 1EE.
Tower: Barnstormer 1EE cleared to land number 2 following the Brasilia.
Pilot: Barnstormer 1EE cleared to land number 2.
Instructor: There’s a flock of geese on the runway. Let’s get out of Dodge.
Pilot to Tower: Barnstormer 1EE going around.
Instructor: Looks like you’re lined up for the landing. Now just keep the pointy end forward and the dirty side down.
Pilot: Groan.
Later after a poor landing.
Pilot: How many landings should I log for that?
Instructor: “Did we land, or were we shot down?”
Pilot: It’s a successful landing if you walk away and can use the plane again.
Tower: Take the next left if able and contact ground point 6.
Pilot: Left and ground point 6.
The first thing to remember when talking like a pilot is that you must use hand gestures. And not the wimpy finger-pointing gestures that the politicians use, but big, exuberant ones. Pretend you are French or Italian—but without the accent. Extra points for using your hips. Double points if pen and paper are involved.
Wrong!
Right
More right
We
Always refer to yourself as we.
We’ll sure try.
Standby
I’m busy right now but I’ll be with you in a moment. No response is necessary.
Q: Did you see what your son has done now?
Reply: Standby
Q: I’ve cut myself and I’m bleeding all over the floor.
Reply:
Roger that
I have received your communication. I don’t necessarily agree, disagree, or even care, but I have heard what you said.
Reply: Roger that.
Wilco
I have heard and understand what you said and I “Will Comply” with your instructions.
Reply: Wilco
State your intentions
Tell me what you you plan to do next.
Reply: State your intentions.
Response:
Let’s get out of Dodge.
Useful for indicating that a go-around is desired or it’s too busy at an uncontrolled field and you’ll go somewhere else.
Statement: Let’s get out of Dodge.
Negative
No.
Reply: Negative.
Honey, I’ve told you once, I’ve told you twice, I’ve told you niner thousand times, negative on the affair …
Say again
Please repeat as I wasn’t paying attention and I think you might have said something important. Alternatively, You can’t possibly have said what I think you just said.
Reply: Say again.
Reply: Say again.
If Able
Useful phrases for sounding like a pilot
We’re ready to bore/burn some holes in the sky.
Keep the pointy side forward and the dirty side down.
It’s a successful landing if you walked away.
How many landings should I log that one as?
More right rudder, Scotty!
I found this part in the PMA section of the Ace Hardware store.
There are old pilots and bold pilots—but no old bold pilots.
Aviate. Navigate. Communicate.